Chelsea- 16 years of age, Australia. Italian heritage, Dancer, Singer, Actress and Anorexic and self-harmer in recovery. Forever is in my hands.
Anonymous murmured: if you go to the doctor, would they be able to tell you your metabolic rate from some kind of test?
No they can’t do that themselves but they can refer you to have the testing done somewhere that can tell you? I go to a hospital for mine.
Under your skin the moon is alive.
I always want to give up.
I always want to tell myself “I’ve fought enough now. I won’t do anymore.” Or worse. I’ll want to revert back to where I was. To when I wasn’t even happy. To when I was sick and frail. Isn’t that sad? That a person would want to be that. People just don’t get it. It’s not that I so badly want to go back to that version of me, but I’m sick of being this version of me. The version that has to gain weight, wants to kill herself half the time. I’m just sick and tired of feeling this way, and I need to get out.
Sadly, the only real fix, the only real way to get out, is to recover. It’s a very long process that takes a lot of patience. It’s wearing me thin, but perhaps I’m closer than I think.
